And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This baby is an asshole
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
