he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Randomize
