"it" just moved
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize