She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was confusing and full of hummus
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
