i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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