oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
