I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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