I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
