Sry I called you an 8
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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