Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
