My room smells like vodka and shame
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
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I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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