it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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