So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
