I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
