My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
