So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
