make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
