I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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