idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
