Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
