i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
