Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize