peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize