I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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