i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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