So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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