whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
