goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
