i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
