I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
