Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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