Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
