We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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