we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
