Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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