hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
