Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize