I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
