ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
