you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
