so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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