I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
