Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
