fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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