Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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