we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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