my soul wont recognize me after tonight
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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