my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There are leaves in my underwear?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
