He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
