I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
