i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
FUCK WHALES
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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