Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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