She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
