i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
