slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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