areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize