I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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