I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
