420 ftw
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
A bitchslap is in order.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
