I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
