Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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